Raindrops of Mercy: Spiritual Tools for Difficult Times
With this post I explore the metaphor of a storm to provide context for how we can reframe how we look at difficult times.
The last month has been incredibly difficult for me, but it has also been filled with profound openings. I recognize I’m not unique; we all go through difficult times. They come and go, sometimes just for a period of time and sometimes for prolonged seasons, but they are an inescapable reality of life. I try to view difficult times, despite how hard they may be, as opportunities to awaken my heart and mind to Allah’s mercy. Perhaps that’s a gloomy outlook, but it’s the perspective that provides me with a mission and aspirational goals to strive towards.
Although we can do a lot by ourselves, we often need good suhba (companionship) to help us stay afloat. Sometimes I can suffice with hanging out with good people or even getting a hug from my wife, but other times I need to talk things out. The challenge for me, on top of not wanting to feel like I’m complaining, is that I cannot divulge or get into the details of what I’m actually seeking to process (for personal or confidentiality reasons). So, as I have been checking in with Dr. Fatima Mirza—who frequently serves as one of my informal therapists (yes, plural, I have a few)—about how I’m doing, I talk about my feelings by describing a stormy scene.
I’m a visual learner, so I frequently resort to images or metaphors to understand and explain things. My hope with this post is to share how I do that with my storm metaphor and provide context for how we can reframe how we look at difficult times.
The Forecast
No doubt, sometimes Allah tests us with torrential rain—completely unexpected and extremely heavy circumstances—but for me, Allah (in his mercy and generosity) usually seems to send signs. They’re hard to recognize because we really have to take a step back and intentionally check the weather forecast. It’s so easy to get caught up in the present, and not only do we forget about where we’ve come from or where we’re going, but we forget to recognize what’s happening around us.
Al-Humdulillah, in December, Allah blessed our family with a baby, Nafisa. With her arrival, there are many sleepless nights for my wife, the other children misbehaving in attempts for our attention, and the emotional overload on me trying to manage it all. I would have been completely delusional not to think that another child would affect the inner workings of our family. Like watching the clouds develop and the day turn into night, these social cues clearly indicate that rain is imminent. But sometimes, like the pain in one’s joints due to the rise of barometric pressure, we might not see any significant changes but have an uneasy feeling in our gut. In either case, we must read the forecast and, if we cannot avoid it, prepare ourselves for what's to ensue.
We all have different methods of handling difficult situations. As my boy Hector taught me, we must remember the Five Ps: proper preparation prevents poor performance. For example, with rainy-day gear (e.g., rainboots and umbrellas), the more prepared and familiar we are with our gear, the better we will be at handling the conditions. After checking the forecast, seeing the social cues, and/or the ringing of our intuition, do we bring our gear with us? When we sense it will figuratively rain in our lives, we should prepare for circumstances worse than we anticipate. We should ready our hearts and minds for what Allah has in store for us and whatever will aid us in our journey to please Him (SWT).
The Storm
Hopefully, once the rain starts, we will have prepared and stockpiled rations sufficiently because we will have little choice but to hunker down. Did you know that “one of the biggest threats from a tropical storm or hurricane in Tallahassee is breaking glass from high winds and debris”?!1 By looking out the windows and focusing on things other than ourselves, we run the risk of being injured. So stay inside, focus on yourself and your direct responsibilities, and avoid unprotected glass doors and windows. We’re in survival mode now.
In survival training they teach caring for our feet is of supreme importance. Foot injuries not only impede our ability to move but can impede our ability to acquire food. We have pragmatic responsibilities in our rainy weather, and we must start with the highest-order priorities. What’s the condition of our rainboots carrying us on this journey? This is no longer the time to be thinking about what should’a, would’a, or could’a been different. This is the time for action. The Prophet ﷺ said, “If anything (in the form of trouble) comes to you, don't say: If I had not done that, it would not have happened so and so, but say: Allah did that what He had ordained to do and your “if” opens the (gate) for the Satan.”2
Sometimes we also need an umbrella. This external element used to help protect us from the storm won’t keep us completely dry, but it will at least protect our vital organs. Not unlike good suhba, trusted friends probably won’t be able to relieve our burdens, but they definitely can help shoulder some of our burdens. The Prophet ﷺ said, “You see the believers in their being merciful among themselves and showing love among themselves and being kind, resembling one body, so that, if any part of the body is not well then the whole body shares the sleeplessness (insomnia) and fever with it.”3
Opening up and sharing with those we trust and love, especially during tough times, doesn’t come easily to everyone. We have to be careful that that anxious feeling is not coming from our egos (i.e., shame or arrogance). For years I could never cry and one of my teachers said, “You don’t cry because somewhere you learned it was weak to cry.” That stuck with me for years, completely unaware of how to remedy it, until one day things just became too much. I realized the best of creation, the Prophet ﷺ, traversed difficult times and cried (like when he lost his son Ibrahim), so who am I not to? The levies of my ego faltered under the weight of the storm, I called my wife out of the blue and proceeded to sob. Although that was the one and only time in a very long time, the benefit was more than just a cathartic release for me but it allowed my wife to support me and subsequently drew us closer. I pray you’re able to find trustworthy people to be vulnerable with, that hold and care for you.
In addition to being pragmatic, we have a spiritual responsibility. I wrote in “Spiritual Holding Patterns,”
Our responsibility is to be, as some of the righteous of the path have put it, “[Children] of the moment.” Children—little people without authority or wisdom derived from life’s experiences and at the behest of their parents—respond with whatever is required of them, however appropriate, and ideally without insolence. Humanity is Faqir (spiritually impoverished) to Allah, Al-Ghani Al-Hamid (Self-Sufficient and Praiseworthy), and therefore respond to whatever is required of us at the moment, be that Qabdh or Bast (contraction or expansion).
After the Break
Fallen Branches
Just because the storm breaks and the clouds pass does not mean we’re out of deep water. Bad storms are destructive, often leaving fallen branches that block main arteries and interrupt the flow of traffic. While inconvenient, we have GPS and knowledge of how to recover. These situations are completely beyond our control, so anticipate a delay in the journey to our destination and plan accordingly.
We must be gracious with ourselves. Although the storm coming wasn’t our control, the road to recovery is. Sometimes our hastiness and expectations impede our ability to persevere and grow beyond the storm. We live in a world of expedience—if we want something, with a mere swipe of our finger it can be at our front door within the hour—and that affect leads us to expect instant gratification. We get frustrated without ourselves for not being able to “get over” things in the same swipe-of-a-finger, Postmates, fashion. Our emotions don’t work that way and sometimes the impact of what we assumed was a little passing storm is far greater than we imagined.
No Electricity
When the electricity goes out, the world is dark, and we struggle to see a path forward. As we search for candles, all we can do is put one foot in front of the other. Ideally, if things aren’t too bad, we can make it to the circuit breaker and restart things relatively quickly, but that’s not always the case. It may be days or months, sometimes even years, where we search for meaning or direction in (what feels like a post-apocalyptic world) we no longer recognize. And that’s fine. What’s most important is that we strive to always keep the pilot light of hope in Allah no matter how dark things may be.
Sprouting Seeds
When I lived in Makkah every year we would get a season, really just like two weeks, of heavy rain. Despite the flooded streets and electricity outages inconveniencing life, after the heavy flooding Makkah’s arid desert weather would cool off and its volcanic hills would miraculously turn green.
Seasons of rain can be truly blessed, but that depends on our perspective. If we can ground ourselves in faith, mindful of Allah, “There is good in every affair,” as The Prophet (SAW) said. “If something of good/happiness befalls him he is grateful and that is good for him. If something of harm befalls him he is patient and that is good for him.” In a previous post on that topic I wrote,
We believe Allah is the Al-Alim, Al-Hakim, Al-Mudabbir (All-Knowledgeable, All-Wise, and The Arranger of Affairs). Like the Prophet ﷺ, our journeys are not haphazard but rather a means to see Allah’s signs. This requires a mental flip that only comes after we have controlled our emotions and can stand steadily, so we are not looking at the obstacle but the opportunity within it.
Our faith is an active faith; it is not a set of tenets we memorize to recite on demand. Our faith is something that grounds us and fortifies us through the storm. With this perspective we don’t spiritually bypass our experience of the storm, rather our experiences are a means of self-exploration where, like when Ibrahim was in the fire, we find warmth despite being lonely and absolutely drenched.
Call to Action: Check Your Spiritual Toolkit
The storms of life are inevitable, but how we navigate them shapes our journey. While things are good we should make sure we must have a spiritual toolkit to prepare ourselves for rainy days. The contents will change and evolve over time, but we must at least recognize the signs, prepare with faith, and lean on trusted companions.
Recognize the Signs:
Stay vigilant and aware of life's subtle cues indicating upcoming challenges.
Pay attention to social cues and trust your intuition to anticipate difficult times.
Prepare with Faith:
Equip yourself with faith and practical measures to handle challenges effectively.
Ground yourself by focusing on immediate responsibilities and spiritual growth.
Practice patience and self-compassion during the recovery process.
Keep hope alive, knowing every storm can bring new opportunities for growth.
Lean on Trusted Companions:
Reach out and rely on good companions for support and strength during tough times.
Embrace vulnerability by opening up to trusted individuals for deeper connections.
Actively support one another, sharing experiences and finding strength in faith and community.
“Tropical Storms & Hurricanes: What to do During”. Emergency Management at Florida State University. Accessed July 23, 2024. https://emergency.fsu.edu/hazards/tropical-storms-hurricanes/tropical-storms-hurricanes-during.